The Bacon Cock - "Bacock"

Bacon. It's an amazing material. Every time I cook, I find myself coming back to this material and wondering if it's the perfect food. So many ways to cook it - so little time. It even has its own RSS Feed.

What better way to celebrate this greatest of meats than making a bacock (with spermage and ricocka!)?

Ingredients

• Bacon (obviously . . .)
  
• Ricotta
• Spinach
• Garlic
• Nutmeg
• Oregano

Method

For your cock, make a lattice structure out of the bacon to make a sheet of meat



Butter up some grease-proof paper real good and wrap it around a suitably shaped item, like a rolling pin.



Wrap your lattice around the greasy pin, making sure you tuck in all the meat tightly



When fully wrapped, your bacock should look somthing like this.



Similarly, wrap some smaller lattices around some ramekins in order to make the balls.



Now your bacock is ready to be slipped into your hot oven for about half an hour.



While you're waiting for the bacon to cook, why not make some spermage and ricocka? Start by gently melting some butter in a pan and adding the garlic.



Next, add the nutmeg, oregano and spinach and cover. The spinach should reduce substantially in a couple of minutes.



Make sure you have some awesome music on while you're cooking.



When the spinach has reduced, let it cool for a bit and then chop it up.



Mix the spinach and ricotta together.



Remove your Bacock from the oven - try not to get too excited . . .



Gently ease the balls off the ramekins.



Give your cock and balls a good stuffing with the spinach and ricotta mix.



Wrap your cock and balls in tin foil and bake for another half an hour.



Yikes! Tin-foil space-cocks . . . FROM SPACE!



Voila! Remove the cock and balls from the oven and arrange genitally.



Why not enjoy your cock and balls with a friend? Served up with some rice it makes the perfect treat. Yum!



Nom nom nom.



Why not take one to a friend's dinner party? Savour their gasps of shock and amazement when you whip your cock out!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

• Appearance - [4/5]: Definitely looks like a cock. The balls were a little big . . . or the cock was too small.
  

• Smell - [4/5]: Garlicy! Yum!
  

• Texture - [3/5]: The crisp bacony skin yields to the soft, creamy interior.

• Taste - [3/5]: Not as bad as you might expect. Certainly not as salty . . .
  

• Adventure! - [3/5]: Penis, lol!
  

• Overall - [3/5]: Surprise your friends with a tasty bacock!